QUIZ: Which Color Lightsaber Should You Wield?

For years, Star Wars aficionados of all ages could only imagine themselves play-fighting with blue, green, or red lightsaber blades.  The addition of Mace Windu’s purple ‘saber (“It’s the one that says ‘Bad Motherf**ker'”) in Attack of the Clones opened up a whole new realm of geeky color exploration!  But how do you decide which color lightsaber fits you best?  Take the quiz and find out!

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You’re in possession of stolen Imperial schematics and Darth Vader and the 501st are hot on your tail, so you:

a) Turn the ship around and fire everything you’ve got!  RAMMING SPEED!


b) Appeal to Lord Vader’s better nature.  It’s not like he’d torture a senator!


c) Hide the plans in a common droid and debate senatorial privilege and the rule of law with the jackbooted thug to buy time to get them into the Rebellion’s hands.


d) Hand over the plans and all the information you have on wanted fugitive Obi-Wan Kenobi.  You’re no fool! If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em!

Your overprotective guardians refuse to let you sign up and become an Imperial pilot, so you:

a) Get into a big fight with your uncle and leave home after calling him a “stupid nerfherder.”  When Stormtroopers attack your moisture farm and leave your hard-working guardians as smoldering corpses, you swear bloody vengeance on all Imperials!


b) Avoid disappointing your parental figures, do your duty and continue repairing vaporators.  After Stormtroopers attack and leave your beloved guardians as smoldering corpses, you write reams of poetry to work through your grief.


c) You start building a droid to take over all your farm duties and do them more efficiently.  Unfortunately, Stormtroopers attack and leave your illogical guardians as smoldering corpses while you’re picking up some hydrospanners at Tosche Station.


d) Report your seditious aunt and uncle!  Call down a Stormtrooper squad to attack and leave your nagging guardians as smoldering corpses.  Good riddance!  They were just holding you back.

You’re the last hope to nail an impossibly small target and save (or doom!) the Rebel Alliance!  You just lost your wingmen and Vader’s spitting laserfire into your rear deflector shields, so you:

a) Go extravehicular!  Grab that proton torpedo and shove it in the exhaust port with your own two hands! Who needs a wonky targeting computer or some hokey religion?


b) Turn off your targeting computer and trust your instincts, like your dead mentor’s voice in your head said!


c) Ignore the crazy voice in your head and trust in the targeting computer, obviously.


d) Too much risk and not enough reward in this crazy Rebellion idea.  Maybe look into smuggling?  Or perhaps some slave trading?  Ideals don’t pay the bills!

Your old pal needs to hide out for a few days on your orbiting gas mine city, but Vader and his goons showed up first and want you to betray them!  So you:

a) Grab every weapon in your armory and make a suicide run on the Dark Lord of the Sith!  You probably won’t survive, but you’ll be damned if you turn on your friends!


b) Play both sides and try to keep everyone happy for as long as possible, until it all falls apart, you betray your friends and you end up on the run anyways 🙁


c) Invite Vader and his troopers to dinner.  Vent the room into space.  Problem solved.


d) Do whatever the Man in Black says.  Collect the reward.  Blow it on spacehookers and glitterstim spice.

An obese, slimy, worm-like gangster has decided to keep you as a pet. So you:

a) Choke him to death with the very chains he used to bind you, natch.


b) Become a model servant and lull everyone into a false sense of security.  When no one expects, blow up the engines on your master’s sail barge and send them all to a fiery death!


c) Playing upon the intricate and complex criminal hierarchy and cutthroat politics among Jabba’s lackeys, set up a complex scheme framing Bib Fortuna as a conspirator looking to take over the Hutt’s operation.  When all the scum and villainy explodes, slip away in the chaos.


d) Using your sex appeal and metal bikini, manipulate the corpulent Hutt into eliminating your enemies while you slowly siphon off his riches into several off-planet accounts.  Pretty soon all the criminals on Tatooine will be taking orders from you!

If you scored mostly As, you should wield:  A Blue Lightsaber

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“Don’t tell me the odds!”  You’re take-charge and action-oriented.  You may not think out your plans all that well, but your heart’s in the right place.  Why bother with fancy talk, where’s the thermal detonator?

If you scored mostly Bs, you should wield:  A Green Lightsaber

LukeSkywalker2
“Adventure, excitement, a Jedi craves not these things.”  You’re sensitive and emotion-oriented.  You tend to take care of others before yourself, but you can become resentful if you feel that your needs aren’t being met.  You may not tell someone you’re mad at them, but they’ll get the message when you lasersword their arm off.

If you scored mostly Cs, you should wield: A Purple Lightsaber

themace
“I don’t know where you get your delusions, laserbrain!”  You’re logical, practical and knowledge-oriented. You can be a bit stubborn and manipulative, but If there’s a problem, you’ll research the sithspawn out of it and come up with three equally efficient solutions.  You may not be the easiest person to communicate with, but you’ll take awesome notes at Rebel Alliance meetings.

If you scored mostly Ds, you should wield:  A Red Lightsaber

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“Give in to your anger.  With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant.”  Congratulations, you’re an evil Sith!  You’re ruthless, devious and full of rage.  You can turn any situation to your benefit while ensuring your enemies’ downfall.  Who needs a soul when you can have … ULTIMATE POWER! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!


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About the author

Luis Navarro

Luis Navarro is a token man slave and writer for Comediva.  He is a proud Valley Boy (“Fer sure”) and martial artist.  He earned a Master’s Degree in Counseling and is an ordained online minister!  He also boasts an encyclopedic knowledge of the Star Wars Expanded Universe and post-1970s movie trivia.  He is secure enough in his masculinity to admit a fondness for unicorns.

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1 comment

  1. Michael

    Green. It’s suites my personality really well. The good thing is though I would be a Jedi Counselor. But I don’t think a cut people’s arms off. Lol.

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