Don Draper — Viagra
Who better to make men feel okay about their erectile dysfunction than THE leading womanizer himself, Don Draper? If Don can do it, so can you.
Rory Williams — 5-Hour Energy
Got that 2:30 feeling? Having trouble keeping up with your time lord friend? Need help keeping a sharper eye on your lady and said time lord? Just kick back a 5-Hour Energy!
Argus Filch — University of Phoenix
After years of trying and failing to reverse his squibness, Filch finally decided to lay down his caretaker duties in exchange for a brighter future.
John Bates & Anna Smith — LegalZoom.com
Divorce can be a tricky business, especially when your wife’s a nutso, money-grubbing douche-nozzle. And that’s where the folks over at LegalZoom.com come in! But now you don’t have to wait for her to kick the bucket! Get rid of that hag and shack up with your new lady love with just a few clicks of the mouse!
Katniss Everdeen — Klondike
What would Katniss do for a Klondike bar? WHAT WOULDN’T KATNISS DO FOR A KLONDIKE BAR?
Ron Swanson — Lipitor
Bacon is the nectar of the gods. Lathered up in all that juicy, juicy goodness. So nectary, is it, that it even manifests in your arteries, refusing to let you go. So when you, too, find yourself in the tangles of forbidden, clogging love, be sure to keep the stress down and use protection: Lipitor.
Liz Lemon — Mini Babybel Cheese
She’s workin’ on her niiiiight cheeeeeeese [uh uh uh]. And her day cheese. And her afternoon cheese. And her Whatever, Whenever Cheese. Have you lizzed today?
Sansa Stark — Mooncup
Period got you down? If you, like Sansa Stark, can’t afford to let people know about your monthly visitor because popping out the spawn of a sadistic boy-king just doesn’t fit in to your current lifestyle, hit up the closest CVS for your own set of menstrual cups! Slightly more tolerable cramps and, most importantly, no leaking: what happens in your uterus, stays in your uterus.