True Hate: Legendary Nemesis Couples

True Love?  Meh, boring!  We all know true love really just translates into someone who eventually will pee with the door open.  But every coin has two sides, and true love has its sexy counterpart, true hate, which makes the world go round just as much as love claims to.  Every hero needs his villain, and these classic anti-couples just wouldn’t be the same without their nemeses to hate on.

Luke and Darth

The obvious choice, these two space western icons epitomize the intrinsic link that true hate requires.  Though they are literally the embodiment of their respective “sides”, Luke and Darth have a special connection: they can sense each other when near and are genetically related.  Basically they’re the same person: but for the grace of God goes Luke to the Dark Side.  Which he totally almost does, but then gets Darth to switch over before his last breath.  And just like any good case of True Hate, you feel sort of bummed out when the conflict is resolved: world peace is cool for daily life, but it pretty much kills your story.

Sherlock Holmes and Professor Moriarty

What would our favorite ingenious crime solver be without his archenemy, the “Napoleon of Crime?”  Sherlock Holmes is a detective deserving of True Hate: anyone who could so consistently foil the machinations of malefactors needs an evil criminal mastermind to give his genius a real challenge.  As much as Moriarty is a bane on London life, Holmes would probably be super bored without the guy.  Solving banal pickpocketing cases just doesn’t cut it.  It seems appropriate that the end of their lives would happen as they plummeted to their deaths off Reichenbach Falls, still locked in struggle to the very finish.

Jean-Luc Picard and Q

Any fan of Star Trek TNG will tell you: the episodes with Q are THE BEST.  Why?  Because he is the perfect anti-Picard.  We love our capable Captain, but we love him even more when he is being royally mind-fucked by some superior being who tests his mettle.  Picard can’t stop time or do half the shit Q can, but totally holds his own.  It shows us what he’s really made of.  And even though Q could easily destroy Picard on a whim, he keeps him around: like any good hater, Q knows life would be way too boring without his sparring partner.

There are many more couples in the True Hate category: Scar and Simba (and any Disney movie pairing, really) Batman and the Joker, Lex Luthor and Superman, God and the Devil, et cetera.  What there is a depressing lack of is women in these leading roles … and when they do show up, they’re spectacular cunts (i.e. The White Witch versus Aslan from The Chronicles of Narnia.  Though being the embodiment of evil is cooler than darning socks while the menfolk go out and handle worldly affairs).  So, please share, reader: who’s your favorite duo of Lady Hate?  (And yes, I’ve already thought of the Wicked Witch and Glenda, please, like that compares to Star Wars!) 


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  1. Tennyson E. Stead

    Ripley vs. Hive Queen
    Sarah Connor vs. SkyNet
    Buffy vs. Hellmouth
    Chell vs. GLadOS
    Lady MacBeth vs. Witches

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