Top 10 Things That Are Just Too Straight

In recent news, Neil Patrick Harris and a Liberace movie have been accused of being “too gay.”

harris

As someone who spent the bulk of her high school career marathoning The L Word in the darkest corner of her closet [literally], I have to say, that’s a bit of an overstatement, yes?

But I get where the critics are coming from; when things are too straight, I just can’t take it. It’s like no, Katherine Heigl, can you quit it with the being attracted to men? Ugh. Get a room.

So now that the dialog’s started, I thought I’d offer my two cents. 10 cents, even. Here are the Top 10 Things That Are Just Too Straight:

10. Michael Bay movies.

9. Hot dogs. With mustard.

8. Old Spice.

7. Bundt cakes.

6. Eminem.

5. Sons of Anarchy.

4. Brooks Brothers. Except their sweater-vests.

3. Midori sours.

2. The Bachelor.

1. Beef jerky.

[Also, every other movie ever made.]


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About the author

Vickie Toro

Hi, friend! I’m Vickie Toro. I’m the lesbian in Lesbros, the creator and one of the writers of BAMF Girls Club, and the Frumpy Girl who commiserates with your Style Ineptness. I’m a Potterhead, water-dancer, and overall TV junky. Also sports movies make me cry.

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