Top 10 Classic Romance Stories Made Better!

classic_romance_stories
9)  Pride and Extreme Prejudice
Elizabeth Bennet is a kick-ass CIA Agent with no time for love … and certainly no time for fellow Agent Mr. Darcy.   But when a burn notice is placed on Darcy’s head, Elizabeth will have to decide between her heart and her hand, which holds the detonation device to three tons of C4 strapped to Darcy’s chest.

8)  Titanic
The ship is sinking–and so is Rose’s love life!  That is, until she starts getting advice from a sassy animated rat, voiced by someone doing an Eddie Murphy impression.  Nautical tragedy has never been so fun!

7)  Ghost with Some Vampires Thrown In (And Maybe a Werewolf?)
Sam Wheat comes back from the dead as a ghost, determined to prove his love to his fiancée, Molly.  But then some sexy vampires show up, and maybe a werewolf?  Yeah, let’s go with werewolf.  Anyway, they all want to date Molly.

6)  Sex and Sexability
Elinor and Marianne are two single sisters looking for love but coming up empty!  Can the commitment-phobic Edward Ferrars and John Willoughby capture the hearts of these 19th century ladies?  Bonus: In the sequel, the sisters go to a Middle Eastern country and criticize women there for not following Western gender stereotypes.   As this is a period piece, it ends in them getting executed for witchcraft. 

5)  When Mary Met Sally
Can two women ever be just friends?  The answer is no.  Lesbians! 

4)  Wuthering Flights
It’s the classic love triangle between Katherine, Edgar and Heathcliff… 50,000 feet above sea level!   As the altitude climbs, so do the tempers as these airline stewards find and lose love during the Boston-Dulles shuttle.  Alternate title: Rakes On A Plane. 

3)  The Princess Fried
Lovely Buttercup and her friends get stranded in the country when their car breaks down, only to discover the area is full of cannibal hillbillies with a penchant for murder!   Lethal murder!  Kill Wesley to get out of a reverse bear-trap?  As you wish!

2)  Casablanca
Everything is exactly same, except Ingrid Bergman has been digitally replaced with Mila Kunis.  Also, she promotes Pepsi products in every 5 minutes of screen time.  Ka-ching!

1)  Jane Bear
She’s a governess, chaffing at the restrictions placed upon her by class and gender.  He’s a bear.   Together they defy the conventions of society and nature, at least until he eats her.

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About the author

Josie Campbell is a freelance writer and blogger; past work has included writing webseries for Warner Brothers as well as jokes for comedians such as Jay Mohr and Norm MacDonald. Check out her work at: www.cozyjamble.com

View all articles by Josie Campbell

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