The Last Laugh: Let’s Talk About Rape, Baby

Oh hey there, I’m a ‘blogger’ with an opinion on rape. Yep, I will get in line. No, I understand that EVERYTHING ABOUT RAPE EVER HAS ALREADY BEEN SAID. Would I like to shut it right now? Nope, no I wouldn’t.

Is it important for everyone to have something to say about rape? Yes. I will laugh at and make jokes about how every a**hole with a blog nowadays has an opinion, and how when something like the Tosh rape joke fiasco or the Dane Cook chainsaw-in-the-cunt incident or anything at all happens, the internet explodes with millions of opinions, memes, charts, animated gifs, and other things that have become our lives in between briefly stuffing ourselves on Real World experiences. But I will not shut it.

And while I would like to hear fewer opinions on how to please my man, or get rid of that pesky belly fat, or which mascara is the flirtiest, I hope as many people as possible talk about rape. Considering how few years it’s been since women couldn’t vote, or have property, or even REPORT RAPE FOR F*CK’S SAKE, I would like for all of us to keep discussing this for as long as necessary for women’s equality to really take root, the same way we’re working on racism, and acceptance of gay people, and acceptance of different religious affiliations.

I don’t have to tell you about the rights women don’t have in other parts of the world. But I f*cking will. And I hope you bring it up too. Because that’s how we human beings work stuff out for ourselves, become aware, evolve, acquire knowledge, change opinions. Why would you want to shut down the intellectual marketplace — a place of true equality, the equality of ideas — because you’re sick of reading things that you agree with? Look up other publications. IT’S THE INTERNET, THE OPINIONS ARE LITERALLY NEVERENDING LIKE THE SALAD AND BREADSTICKS AT OLIVE GARDEN. Are you sick of reading things you disagree with? Good. Maybe you learned something today. Something about what the people around you believe, and how they think.



I would like for even the idiots to keep talking. It’s so easy for me, living in liberal Los Angeles, to forget how many idiots there are. And that makes me complacent. I forget how ignorant a lot of people are about sexual assault statistics, or how young boys think violence is cool, and they don’t necessarily take sexual assault seriously, or about little girls who think Chris Brown hit Rihanna because he loved her so much. So thank you, idiots! We need your opinions, too. We need all the opinions we can muster, all fighting it out in our consciousness, so we can together process something as unthinkable as rape. So we can get an accurate idea of who’s not informed, misinformed, and where our opinions about equality come from. We need to hear everyone so we can laugh at jokes about rape, talk about why we laugh, and why we don’t, and how we can make our women feel valued, and keep our comedy free at the same time, as a society full of people who are still evolving and stumbling drunkenly toward the light.

So hey guys, meet me at Olive Garden in an hour for the never-ending salad, breadsticks, and rape talk special? I will be the one with the chainsaw in my cunt.

Check out Sofiya’s blog: Important Thinkings!  


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