The Godfather Gives the Jersey Shore Real Guido Problems

For five seasons, and possibly a sixth, The Jersey Shore has been giving us guido problems. The thing is, for real guidos (or Italians, as some of us like to call ourselves) The Jersey Shore is a problem. Objections from various Italian-American organizations didn’t sway MTV, or the cast, from using the derogatory term — but I can’t help wondering if Don Corleone had said something, if those kids would have had quite the same guido problems.

jerseyshore_041612

Here’s a look at some of the cast’s biggest “problems,” and how a little push from the mafia would have made them… you know, actual problems.

1. When the club is full of grenades… 

Woltz_horse_head_041612
When the club is full of horse heads.

2. When you don’t know who wrote the letter… When you don’t know who wrote the ransom letter.

3. When Dina pulls the robbery on a chick in your bed... 

lucabrasi_041612
When Luca Brasi pulls the robbery on everything in your house.

4. When you can’t get to the gym... When you can’t get to your lawyer.

5. When Sam and Ron won’t shut the f**k up... 

samandron_041612
When Sam and Ron lose their tongues and have to shut the f**k up.

6. When Snookie gets hauled off into police custody for being drunk in public…When Snookie gets hauled off into police custody for her own protection.

7. When you gotta ditch a girl because she’s too young for you, bro.

carexplosion_041612
When you gotta ditch a girl because she just blew up, along with your car.

8. When Mike Sorrentino comes to Sunday dinner with plenty of ammo on everybody.
When Mike Corleone comes to Sunday dinner with plenty of ammo for everybody.

9. When you go to Italy and everyone there wants to kill you.

godfather_041612
When you go to Italy because everyone else wants to kill you.

10. When Angelina shows up to the cast reunion… When Angelina shows up to the cast reunion in a body cast.

So there’s the top 10 problems the cast of The Jersey Shore would be facing if the Godfather had anything to say about it. Got a problem with The Jersey Shore? Tell us about in the comments below!


AROUND THE INTERWEBS


Share This

About the author

Suzy Pasqualetto

Why hello there! I’m Suzy Pasqualetto, Comediva’s Production Coordinator and go-to gal for all our fellow funnygirls! Around the office, you’re likely to see me coordinating meetings, organizing like a mofo, and eating all of the hummus. I’m a big fan of animals, boys with lots of tattoos, good films, and sh*tty television. Follow me @UghNotSuzy

View all articles by Suzy Pasqualetto

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *