Ahoy me hearties! Talk Like a Pirate Day is upon us!
As we prepare to drink our grog and dub our friends “chumbuckets” and “bilge rats,” we must remember that even the most glorious holiday has its dangers. Here’s a short list of do’s and don’ts for this September 19th.
DO talk like a pirate during your company’s staff meeting.
DON’T ask your boss if you can touch their “booty.” This will only lead to strongly worded emails from HR.
DO sentence as many friends as you can to “walk the plank!”
DON’T actually make them walk a plank. Their insurance won’t cover the injuries, and the police won’t believe you were just “getting into character.”
DO buy a round of grog for all ye maties!
DON’T try to pay the tab with doubloons.
DO use your pirate swagger to snag the attention of your crush.
DON’T ask to motorboat her “treasure chest.”
DO end the night with ideas of how to make next year’s Talk Like a Pirate Day even better.
DON’T instagram a picture of your empty bed with the caption “Prepare to be boarded. Arrr.” It’s just more sad than clever.
DISCLAIMER: After further evaluation, asking for permission to motorboat your crush’s treasure chest has been placed on the DO list because ok…genius.
Feel free to add your own DO’s and DON’Ts in the comments section below!