1) Move to Washington!
The northwest is chock-full of broody vampire boys just waiting to fall in love with their dinner you!
How to achieve in the real world: If you can’t convince your parents to move, run away! You won’t need them once you’re engaged to the 150-year-old vampire no doubt waiting for you in Forks.
Books that totally prove our tip: The Twilight series
2) Be klutzy!
Vampires, werewolves, boys under the Zodiac Curse, and angels cannot resist a girl who falls on her face every two seconds. Unbroken bones are for singletons!
How to achieve in the real world: Deliberately trip into your crush’s arms. If he drops you, it’s ok — his best friend will come over to help you, look into your eyes, and BAM, new boyfriend!
Books that totally prove our tip: The Twilight series, Fruits Basket, Sailor Moon
3) Survive the Hunger Games!
No boy is going to look twice at a corpse! Also, surviving gives you an automatic love triangle!
How to achieve in the real world: If there’s no chance your country will turn into a reality TV obsessed totalitarian state, trick your friends and crush into going camping with you, then activate the electrical fence around your cabin and reveal you’re all going to duke it out until Jake loves you.
Books that totally prove our tip: The Hunger Games trilogy, Battle Royale
4) Go to boarding school!
Boarding schools are chockfull of boys waiting to fall in love with you, especially if you’re a poor scholarship student! Yum!
How to achieve in the real world: Lie about wanting to be a lawyer then send your parents pamphlets for secluded prep schools based solely on how good-looking the guys are in the brochures.
Books that totally prove our tip: The Gossip Girl series, Ouran High Host Club series, House Of Night series, the Vampire Academy series, the Fallen series, Vampire Knight series
5) Be on opposite sides of a war!
Forbidden fruit is the best fruit! Nothing get’s a man’s blood pumping like being with an enemy agent!
How to achieve in the real world: Spend years sending your crush cryptic messages about how he was “Born to command the Light and wipe out the Darkness.” When he cracks and begins murdering everyone he thinks is a Demon, present yourself as a sexy-yet-innocent hellion and watch the sparks fly!
Books that totally prove our tip: Crown Duel, Decoy Princess, Princess At Sea, the Iron Fey series, Unearthly, Firelight, the Fallen series, the Vampire Knight series, the Angelfire series
6) Be perplexingly unremarkable!
Boys go absolutely gaga over how ordinary you are! If you’re brown haired with uninteresting features and have exactly one, but no more than one, talent — presto, guys are going to be crawling out of the woodwork for you!
How to achieve in the real world: Hang out at the library by yourself. Before long you’ll be sucked into adventures with sexy teen boys. If this hasn’t happened, read more teen lit books until it does.
Books that totally prove our tip: The teen lit genre.
