Surviving PMS at Comic-Con!

PMS RAGE: YOU WON’T LIKE ME WHEN I’M ANGRY
You will no doubt be sent into a PMS fury while getting jostled about in the crowds on the exhibition floor, and as much as you’d like to, you can’t sock your fellow geeks in the face (although, for the record, they can take a punch), so try a Darth Vader style death grip and ‘force’ choke them.  It’ll get thepoint across.  Or set your phaser to “Don’t touch me” or “Get out of my way.”  You know what?  Just punch ‘em.

FOOD
Low blood sugar + blood loss = somebodyf*ckingfeedmeNOW!!!  Pack a snack (something in the way of a Milk Dud) so you don’t go all Bane on every Batman in sight, snapping them over your knee and whatnot.  Also, downtown is chock full o’ pubs, bub, on every street corner.  So get a brew and some cheesy fries and pipe down.  Save your rage for the DC reboot.  Winky emoticon!

PERIOD FARTS

You know what?  We nerds are smelly.  Especially in the San Diego heat.  Let ‘er rip.  No one will know.

CRAMPS

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!  SHUT UP, JUST SHUT UP!!!

PLUMBING: WHEN YOUR DEATH STAR TRASH COMPACTOR STARTS TO LEAK [worst euphemism formenstruation ever]

Not packing pads or tamps?  Sorry, I thought I’d try an abbreviated, cool name for tampons but it’s still stupid.  My bad.  Anyway, without protection, you’re primed for leakage — what do you do, punk?  What do you do?!  You make a bee line for the Walking Dead photo op display and pretend to be a dead body for a sec.  Also, it’s a great way to take a nap in the middle of the Con.  Or opt for a red costume, like Elektra or Deadpool.  Steal a cloak from a passing Jedi.  Say someone stabbed you in the vagina.

By Quantum’s Leaps, the possibilities are endless!


BEARS

You’re not likely to run into any real bears at Comic Con, but it never hurts to keep a whole salmon on hand, should you need to provide a distraction.

POLAR BEARS

Aw, fuck, polar bears?!  How am I going to get a penguin or a snow fish or whatever they eat in time for SDCC?!  Gah!!!

TIME TRAVEL

You can also travel back in time and tell your past self to schedule her birth control so that your period doesn’t fall during Con week.  The paradox is worth the risk.  You can travel to and from with Sam Beckett, but he doesn’t have any say where he ends up, so unless you want to get stuck in a Driving Miss Daisy parody or wake up in the body of Hitler, forget it.  Marty McFly is semi-retired from time-travel… I say hitch a ride with The Doctor… who for all we know, may have been an OBGYN back on Gallifrey.

Lauren and Bailee are the creator and illustrator of PMS Adventures, a hilarious superhero/action comic, only on Comediva.com.  Follow CassieMaya and Teresa as they fight crime once a month.  Yeah, PMS is a bitch, but it can be a bitch that makes you a hero.  Click the comic below to check it out!

PMSA_12


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About the author

While attaining a very useful BA in Theater, Lauren worked with numerous improv troupes including iPlay at UCF, Six Degrees Improv, and Standprov and attended classes at Sak Comedy Lab. Upon graduation, she worked for 3 years at a sketch comedy and rock and roll club called Shadowbox, where she was a featured singer and sketch comedian. She is the author of the blog, Guarded Area, and founder of The Jiggles and Giggles Comedy Fest, an all woman sketch, improv, and stand up show benefitting Gilda’s Club in her native South Florida. Bailee DesRocher is a comedienne, illustrator and first class nerd. She has mad skills + Jason Schwartzman good looks, and enjoys drawing elaborate poop jokes. Although she's married, she's in a long distance work partnership with Comediva writer Lauren Pottinger, who has really nice legs.

View all articles by Lauren Pottinger and Bailee DesRocher

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