A feud struck the Comediva offices recently, after two employees watched the pilot (and only) episode of Mockingbird Lane and formulated dramatically dissenting opinions. V.P. of Production Emily McGregor loathed the show, whereas Managing Editor Kristen extolled it as her “favorite new thing ever.”
The discord escalated when McGregor and Bobst refused to “agree to disagree,” declaring intra-office warfare. Bobst struck by planting miniature Mockingbird Lane play dough models at the bottom of McGregor’s bag lunches. At the end of more than a few salads, the famed director of I Hate L.A., Klingon Style, and Bonjour Star Wars found tiny little Munsters clinging to her fork. McGregor retaliated using her artistic abilities and a can of day-glo orange paint. She airbrushed a mural of NBC executives cancelling Mockingbird Lane after just one episode onto Bobst’s vehicle.
Comediva CEO Erika Cervantes stepped in and ordered the co-workers to settle the vendetta through list-making therapy. Here is how that turned out.
Why Mockingbird Lane Rules v. Why Mockingbird Lane Sucks Donkey Balls
Kristen’s List
Eddie Izzard eats a lion in episode one.
Eddie Izzard has an amazing manicure.
Ever since Pushing Daisies, Bryan Fuller can do no wrong.
Use of the word “exsanguinate.”
Ummm, it has vampires, werewolves, and Portia de Rossi.
It’s whimsical as f*ck.
Killer visual effects used appropriately.
Eddie Izzard.
Jerry O’Connell looks like he hasn’t aged a day since Sliders.
The right mix of horror and comedy.
Emily’s List
Eddie Izzard is not in drag.
Eddie Izzard is not making fun of Hitler.
Eddie Izzard is not making fun of Americans.
Eddie Izzard does not make self-referential pantomimes.
Eddie Izzard did not once ask ‘Cake or Death?’
Eddie Izzard is not in drag.
Eddie Izzard never gives a character to an inanimate object.
Eddie Izzard never called Jesus “Jeezy Creezy.”
Eddie Izzard didn’t put babies on spikes.
Eddie Izzard never utters an onomatopoeia.
Eddie Izzard is not making historical references.
WHY ISN’T EDDIE IZZARD IN DRAG!
