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Shirley's Drunk Dials: Dariush, Part 1

Created by Shirley Wench

Shirley needs it bad, so she calls Dariush, her 'Persian Mr. T.' Drinks: 3 shots of cherry cough syrup, 1 vodka-infused watermelon, 1 liter of Tequila. Location: Fri. 11:22pm, The Horny Cow Bar & Grille, parking lot.

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Shirley's Drunk Dials: Soul Sister

Created by Shirley Wench

Shirley leaves Frida, her 'soul sister,' a heartfelt message. Drinks: 7 mini-bottles of vodka, 1 bottle of pinot grigio, 10g of peyote. Location: Sat. 1:09pm, outside of 7-Eleven.

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Shirley's Drunk Dials: Hovo

Created by Shirley Wench

Shirley calls her fave plumber to get some servicin'. Drinks: 1 vase filled with Chardonnay, 7 shots of Jack Location: Mon. 11:02pm, Apt. 204

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Shirley's Drunk Dials: Mom

Created by Shirley Wench

Shirley calls her mom with a haiku she composed. Drinks: 2 water bottles of Tequila, 3 40oz. MGDs Location: Fri. 1:07am, Apt. 204

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Shirley's Drunk Dials: Gevork

Created by Shirley Wench

A devastated Shirley calls a one-time paramour when her beloved Kia Rio is keyed. Drinks: 5 shots of Tequila, 64-oz. Big Gulp with Coke (and Rum) Location: Mon. 11:02am, Comediva Offices

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Shirley's Drunk Dials: Liquor Store

Created by Shirley Wench

Shirley places her weekly order at the liquor store. Drinks: 1 glass of merlot, 3 Tecates, 6 shots of Potter's Peach Schnapps Location: Thurs. 1:17am, Apt. 204

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Shirley's Drunk Dials: Dad

Created by Shirley Wench

Shirley calls home after watching The Shining and gives dear old dad a piece of her mind. Drinks: 1/2 handle of Gentleman's Jack, 2 bottles of Brut, 1 energy drink Location: Sun. 2:24am, Frida's place

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Shirley's Drunk Dials: Blind Date

Created by Shirley Wench

Shirley calls Katharine after a blind date goes terribly wrong. Drinks: 2 Coronas, 3 glasses of Zinfandel, 1/2 glass of Nyquil Location: Tues. 1:24am, Apt. 204

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Shirley's Drunk Dials: Juan the Dishwasher

Created by Shirley Wench

Shirley really needs Katharine to find her notebook, and she needs it bad ... like, now. Drinks: 7 Coronas, 2 Jack and waters, 5 peach wine coolers Location: Thurs. 11:15pm, Juan's storage shed, behind The Horny Cow Bar & Grille

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Shirley's Drunk Dials: Betty

Created by Shirley Wench

Shirley's therapy session with boss-lady Betty Krueger. Drinks: 1 handle of tequila, 3 limes Location: Tues. 2:32 am, truckstop ladies' room, Highway 58

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