Mean Girls: The Musical Dream-Casting

It was announced yesterday that Tina Fey and her musically inclined hubby, Jeff Richmond, are “in talks with theatre people,” hammering out the logistics of a musical you were totally waiting for but didn’t know it: Mean Girls.

That’s right. Cady Heron and co. are set to take Broadway by storm sometime in the next few years, and Everyone Everywhere couldn’t be happier about it.

But who should make up the cast? Given the explosion of super talented young actresses who’ve more than blipped the Stardom Radar in the past couple of years, the options are not only endless, but awesome.

So here’re our picks for Mean Girls: The Musical dream-casting:

Emma Stone — Cady Heron

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Stone came from humble beginnings: she made her first TV appearance in the New Partridge Family competition, beating out dozens of hopefuls for the part of Laurie Partridge. Moreover, she first won fans over in her Heron-esque role in Easy A, which means she’s the best candidate to perform the likely ballad “Bathroom Lunchtime.”

Anna Kendrick — Regina George

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Kendrick is no stranger to playing the villain in movie-musicals. One of her very first roles was in the cult classic Camp, where she was the very ambitious and overlooked Fritzi, bent on taking over as the queen of summer camp theatre. She kicks ass, takes names, and “sorry” just isn’t in her vocabulary. Unless it’s a very sassy “sorry.”

Amanda Seyfried — Karen Smith

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Having starred in both Les Miserables and Mamma Mia!, Seyfried has plenty of musical experience under her belt, and, really, there’s nobody else capable of playing the part of the weirdly beloved Karen. “I’m Sick, Cough Cough” is sure to be a standalone pop hit.

Alison Brie — Gretchen Wieners

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Little Annie Adderall of Community has earnestness and insecurity to spare, and the actress’s ability to harness those qualities will make “We Should Totally Just Stab Caesar” something of a comedic show-stopper.

Rebel Wilson — Janice Ian

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Crazed, irreverent, and armed with a very lesbian-wary eye — as evidenced in Pitch Perfect — Wilson’s take on the artsy outcast would no doubt be a scene-stealer. Here’s to hoping Wilson’s comedic chops culminate in yet another shirt-ripping-worthy close-up.

Jennifer Lawrence — A New Role Created for the Sole Purpose of Including Jennifer Lawrence

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Granted, nobody knows if the Oscar-winning actress can sing, so, if anything, maybe she can be “Regina George punched me in the face” girl…

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler — Reprise Their Roles

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Because I mean. Who else?

Conspicuously Absent: Taylor Swift.


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About the author

Vickie Toro

Hi, friend! I'm Vickie Toro. I'm the lesbian in Lesbros, the creator and one of the writers of BAMF Girls Club, and the Frumpy Girl who commiserates with your Style Ineptness. I'm a Potterhead, water-dancer, and overall TV junky. Also sports movies make me cry.

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