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Crazy, Stupid Love — 3 Big Os |
Generally, I find romcoms a total boner kill, but have you SEEN Ryan Gosling? And shirtless?! He’s crazy, stupid hot. Worth it.
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Captain America — 4 Big Os |
A scrawny man is transformed into a mega hottie and fights Nazis. Fantasy much?
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The Help — 1 Big O |
Someone, please HELP me retrieve my libido after this smotherfest of maudlin ladylove. There was not a SINGLE man in the audience for this one. Boo.
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Harry Potter — 4 Big Os |
So, maybe the first Harry P was sort of dorksville, but my, how these children have grown! With lots of drama and suspense, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows lets you lose yourself in the hot wizard action, without feeling like a predator.
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Midnight in Paris — 2 Big Os |
The only thing less sexually appealing than Owen Wilson is Owen Wilson doing Woody Allen. Adrian Brody, though, still has some bizarro steaze magic he works on me with that schnoz.
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Rise of the Planet of the Apes — 3 Big Os |
It’s a little intellectual for my tastes, and while some people are into the ape thing, I prefer my men human. But it DOES have James Franco.
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Cowboys & Aliens — 5 Big Os |
This movie has triple layers of hotness. First, it’s in the Old West, where rare bathing allowed pheromones to wreak havoc upon the populace. Second, it has Olivia Wilde, who is even sexy to plants. Lastly, it has both Daniel Craig for the young ladies and Harrison Ford for some older brand of sexiness. Perfection.
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Green Lantern — 3 Big Os |
A valiant effort, and Ryan Reynolds is smoking in that skintight green. But why was I still so bored? Sigh.
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Transformers 3 — 1 Big O |
There used to be some sexy times between Shia and Megan Fox, but with that robotic Victoria’s Secret model replacement, this sequel was about as sexy as my grandmother’s Depends.
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Our Idiot Brother — 2 Big Os |
More like “Our Idiot Script,” which takes the sexy Paul Rudd and makes him look like a mountain man, while surrounding him with ovary-draining Emily Mortimer and Zooey Deschanel. Overly clever people are boring.
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Conan the Barbarian — 4 Big Os |
This hot mess of rippling man muscles comes straight at you in 3D. Who cares how the dialogue is? Visually, it’s pure satisfaction.
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The Smurfs — 5 Big Os |
What? I have a Smurf fetish.
Kisses,
Katharine
