If Superheroes Bought Their Costumes and Gadgets from Etsy

Ever wonder where comic book characters buy their costumes and gadgets?  Lately, superheroes and their villainous counterparts have been shopping on Etsy.com for their gizmos and getups.

Here are the top handmade and vintage finds for the most fashionable superheroes and evil geniuses.

Cyclops’ Crystal & Fur Embellished Shades

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Gotta hide those lethal peepers behind something, right?  Cyclops wears a shiny new handcrafted battle visor from Etsy.  It’s complete with Swarovski crystals and sassy faux fur.

 Superman’s Custom Latex Briefs

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Tired of the old red speedo look, Superman opts for made-to-order form fitting latex briefs.   They highlight his bulge and are sleek enough to limit drag during flight.   Now, Superman is faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and sexy as hell.

 Scarecrow’s Repurposed Burlap Sack Mask

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Scarecrow’s updated look is shabby-chic at its best.  Repurposing is the new recycling!  Could potato sack fashion become a new trend?

 Green Lantern’s Festive Mardis Gras Mask

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In brightest day, in blackest night, Green Lantern expresses his wild side with a spiffy Venetian-inspired disguise.  He’s ready to fight crime — or attend a masquerade ball.

Rorschach’s Vintage-Couture Trench Coat

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Rorschach’s snazzy new trench coat shouts “class” and “badass” at the same time.  Hey, if you can pull off an inkblot mask, you can pull off a women’s designer jacket.

Magneto’s Custom-Made Leather Gladiator Helmet

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What better way to keep Professor X out of one’s head than with a Viking-inspired leather headdress?!   Magneto’s new helmet is made from the finest hand-tooled leather and synthetic resin horns.  It’s water and mind-control proof.

Wonder Woman’s Gothic Tiara

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When choosing headwear with projectile ability in mind, always go leather.  Leather is heavy enough to chuck at one’s enemies, yet flexible for maximum comfort.  Now Wonder Woman just needs some steampunk bracelets to complete her updated look.

Deadpool’s BoHo-Chic Utility Belt

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If you’ve gotta carry gadgets around with you, do it in style.  Deadpool’s new sun-washed hip-purse is perfect for accommodating grenades, guns, teleporters, and any other assorted bric-a-brac an antihero might need.

Rogue’s Ruffled Alençon Lace Gloves

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Rogue’s fancy new mitts are made from fine needlepoint lace, updated with modern ruffles for a whimsical feel.   This accessory is perfect for the mutant who has everything, yet doesn’t want to suck the life out of her friends.

Ghost Rider’s Antique Floral Chains

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What better to complement a flaming exterior than flowery copper chains?  Rusty old chains are so last year!


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About the author

Kristen Bobst is a grade-A comedy writer, an unstoppable sock puppeteer, and the world’s foremost whimsy aficionado. She certainly believes the meaning of life really is 42; and right now Kristen is really into The Carrie Diaries.

Comediva. Where the funny girls are.

View all articles by Kristen Bobst

3 comments

  1. Kathleen Vintage Eye

    I fear Etsy may have wasted its’ resources attempting to corner the hipster market with all the screen printed handlebar moustache merch while neglecting the utility belt & secret identity hider mask trade! Zoinks! Is it too late? Will Etsy get on board with the evil genius/superhero demographic before it’s too late & most importantly…what ever happened to Diaper Man?

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