Sure, Winter is Coming. But that doesn’t mean you can’t throw an awesome Game of Thrones Party! Follow these steps and you’re sure to have a fiesta that’ll rival King Joffrey’s wedding! Minus the whole thing at the end, hopefully.
Recreating Westeros is tricky, so your best bet is to throw all your budget into making a sweet-ass Iron Throne. That’s all anyone cares about in Westeros anyway, amiright? This can totally be low-budg — just take a kitchen chair and buy a bunch of packs of plastic forks and knives and tape them to the chair in an outwardly threatening manner. Spray-paint them silver beforehand, if you’re feeling fancy.
2) Food and Drink
Since Game of Thrones is all about fire and ice, maybe throw some meat on the grill and char it, char the f**k out of it like it’s a slave-owner and you’re Dracaris.
And then on the icier side of things — grab a banana, dip it in chocolate, and freeze it, freeze that sh** like it’s a newborn babe and you’re a White Walker.
Everyone loves to get drunk in Westeros, so don’t forget to offer up some ice-cold brewskies. When buying beer, always make sure it’s the Besteros in Westeros.
At the beginning of the party, draw straws to determine which one of the party guests is the Hodor for the night. This person may only say the word Hodor for the rest of the night, and will simply have to imbue different emotions into the word to communicate! Want some more popcorn? Hodor! Need to use the restroom? Hodor hodor! OMFG they just beheaded someone? Hodooooooor!!!
4) Drinking Game
– Drink every time you see pointless graphic violence and/or nudity
– Drink every time you want to punch Joffrey
– Drink every time Robb Stark makes a bad decision
– Drink every time Daenerys screams about her dragons
– Drink every time Jon Snow looks constipated
Follow these rules, and you’ll be naked-wasted before the sun sets on the seven kingdoms!
5) Find Yourself an Arranged Marriage (Just don’t have a Red Wedding)
Love doesn’t have to be the death of honor! Love can be a great distraction from the slow march to death that life is! Besides, what would a Game of Thrones party be without a little gratuitous sex? So use these sweet Game of Thrones Pick-up Lines on the nearest lord or lady, and you’ll surely find yourself a bedfellow for the evening.
Pick a house, any house! Decide which house you’re campaigning for and don their house colors. If you’re feeling ambitious, maybe even sew on iron-on house sigils. Or, if you’re a Greyjoy and You Do Not Sew, grab some of them iron-on letters from Michael’s and burn that house saying onto your T-shirt.
7) Musical Chair
Remember that Iron Throne you created in #1? Put it to use with a rousing game of Musical Chair (yes, that’s Musical Chair, singular). Play “The Rains of Castamere” and whoever sits in the Iron Throne first is king — everyone else gets beheaded!
8) WHERE ARE MY DRAGONS?!
Party game! Before your guests arrive, hide a few “dragons” around the house. It’s up to you whether you want these to be print-outs from the internets, or real, live dragons. Again, budget limitations are real, yo. We get that.
Whoever finds the most dragons gets to be the “Mother of Dragons” and be worshipped by everyone else at the party.
9) The Wall
Assign one of your guests to be Jon Snow, and make sure you keep giving him the heads up that he knows nothing. Also, this lucky fella will be in charge of guarding The Wall, aka the stacked cases of beer. If the wall gets too low, your guests will turn into a band of bloodthirsty wildlings, so make sure Jonny Boy keeps that wall stacked high with boozy goodness.
Looks like you’re all set to throw the ultimate Game of Thrones party! Just don’t have too much fun, cuz remember — Winter is Coming — and it’s gonna be the ultimate buzzkill.