Downton Abbey is probably one of the most binge-worthy soap operas out there. If you are a human being who likes watching other human beings do things, you will probably like this show. But what makes any show better? A themed party. But a Downton Abbey party seems pretty expensive. Here are some tips for throwing your own Downton Abbey party on a minimal budget.
1. Throw it Whenever
Don’t worry about throwing your Downton Abbey party on the weekend, because if you are throwing a party, that means you are rich. And, in this world, the rich don’t work. Plus, if you throw it on a weekday, fewer people will show up, and that means more booze for you! Win! Go ahead and throw your party on a Thursday.
So in Downton Abbey, they drink a lot of wine. Probably expensive wine. Go through some garbage cans and find nice, empty bottles of wine. Fill those bottles with Two Buck Chuck, and serve them to your guests. They won’t know the difference.
3. Play a Downton Abbey Drinking Game
Drink whenever Mrs. Patmore yells at Daisy.
Drink whenever Edith is a disappointment to the family.
Drink when a historical event effects the family.
Toast when the Dowager Countess judges someone.
Pour one out when a beloved character dies. Actually, don’t do this one; you’ll waste all the Chuck.
4. Hire the Poor
To throw a true Downton Abbey party, you need to feel superior to another set of individuals. Do you have friends that make less money than you? Then hire them to be servants at your party. Are you the poorest of your friends? Then go down to a homeless shelter and hire some people there. Sure, that sounds pretty politically incorrect, but political correctness hadn’t been invented yet. Just tell yourself that you’re creating jobs.
5. Bake Scones
Not only are they delicious, but they are cheaper than the five-course meal you would have to serve otherwise. People love scones; they won’t question it.
6. Play Games
I suggest a game that is pretty much Duck, Duck, Goose. Except it’s called, “Healthy, Healthy, Spanish Flu,” or “Car, Car, Crash,” or “Solider, Soldier, Dead Soldier,” or “Suffragette, Suffragette, Child Birth.” You take your pick, depending on what character you loved and invested the most emotional energy into, only to have them horribly ripped away from you.
7. Hit on the Guests
Sex is a pretty cheap activity. Try a few Downton Abbey pick-up lines. Just don’t let the lucky person die in your bed. Here’s a full list!
Take everything you own and spray-paint it gold. Everything. This will make you look rich. Also, don’t pay your electric bill, and just buy candles instead. The Dowager Countess will sleep better at night, and your party will be more authentic. Plus, cheesy fake gold paint looks better with less light on it.
Break into someone’s house and steal all their silverware, plates, wine glasses, and napkins. I mean, look at these formal place settings! You don’t have that many glasses! Plus, you’re going to need something fancy on the table to distract the guests from realizing that you’re only serving scones.
10. WWTDCGD? (What Would The Dowager Countess Do?)
Insult all your guests with snide, witty remarks masked as being “helpful.”
They will all leave early.
You will have way too much Two Buck Chuck in unwashed, dumpster-dive wine bottles to drink.
Drink all the wine.
Don’t go to work on Friday because you are too hungover.
Eat at the homeless shelter.
Get hired to serve at someone else’s Downton Abbey Party.
The cycle continues.
Throwing a Downton Abbey party? You might need some of these Downton Abbey Pick-up Lines, too!