It’s that time of the year again. That special week that everyone dreads. That day that no matter how much you prepare, some unexpected event is thrown into your world and
completely diminishes all of your pre-season efforts. I’m not talking about Valentine’s Day. I’m talking about April 15 — the day your taxes are due! Well, have no fear. Not only was 2011’s tax date extended to April 18, I’m also going to explain how you can use your unicorn to help you save during tax season. Most people don’t realize or take the time to research tax breaks and write-offs. Besides, who has time for Google when we’re all on Facebook anyway?
1. If you don’t have a unicorn, the first thing I suggest is to consider adopting one (even if it’s just for the tax break). This year, Uncle Sam is offering the Adoption Tax Credit and it’s refundable! That means that if you don’t owe any taxes, you’ll get a refund anyway!
2. Even though many of you don’t have enough disposable income to donate to charity (or time, for that matter), non-cash charitable donations qualify as a tax write-off! What that means is you can donate that stuffed animal that your unicorn has outgrown to Goodwill and write it off! Just make sure you get a receipt in case you get audited (which will probably happen if you haven’t done your taxes in 5+ years).
3. Education is extremely valuable (but only when it comes to tax write-offs). So strap a saddle onto your unicorn, take a picture of yourself on it, and send it to your accountant with a note that says, “Riding lessons, sucka!” Your accountant will not only fall in love with your unicorn because of its noble look, but will also find which plan will be most appropriate for you — this varies according to state.
4. Claim your unicorn as a dependent in order to take advantage of child-care write-offs. That means all paid supervision in the past year can serve as a deductible. (Warning: Unicorns and children in a single household can often result in wishes and laughter.)
5. No matter where you go for work, keep track of all those miles and calculate the cost of any requirements that keep your unicorn functioning — even if you don’t use your unicorn for travel (because you’re still carrying a little extra holiday weight and your unicorn doesn’t have the upper body strength/doesn’t want to carry you more than four feet).
My unicorn saved me SO MUCH MONEY. I mean I have to spend a lot on butterflies and grass to feed it. But I sell it’s Jelly Bean poop and I can write off care costs too!
Ack! Why didn’t I think of claiming my unicorn before filing my taxes?!?!
I’ve also found that my unicorn’s horn is ideal for keeping all of my tax paperwork together while I’m working (if you don’t mind a slight tear), and afterwards, Mr. Bubbles (that’s my unicorn), eats all the paper! Just doing my bit for the environment!