With the viral success of PSY’s Gangnam Style, it’s clear that Korean Pop music is the next big thing.
If you want to cash in on this new trend and make some Korean Pop videos of your own, you’ll need to become a little bit more informed about what makes these videos tick.
So, here are some tips on how you can make your very own Korean Pop Video:
How To Create Korean Pop Video
1. Feature a surprisingly addictive sound that can only described as “Futuristic-American-Pop-On-Crack” — and causes anyone older than 50 to have an age-induced seizure (or, apparently, gets them blown to smithereens.)
[sz-youtube url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bZkp7q19f0″ /]
2. Have at least one person in your video dress up similar to Michael Jackson and have him do a dance riff reminiscent of the late King of Pop.
3. Feature innovative new dance moves like the “The Lasso” dance, “The Horse Rider” dance, and “The-Delightfully-Surprised-Grown-Man-Giving-Birth-To-Another-Grown-Man-In-An-Elevator” dance.
4. Have Vogue Editor-In-Chief, Anna Wintour make a surprise cameo in the middle of the video.
5. Most of the song can be in Korean but it is absolutely mandatory that your hook be a simple English word or phrase like “sexy lady,” “oh,” “fantastic,” “dance,” “wow,” “yeah,” “bubble,” “giraffe,” or “cup.”
[sz-youtube url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mm490aUEAZ8″ /]
6. Make sure the men in your video dress and act so overtly gay that somehow they end up appearing really straight. (Let’s keep it real: not even a gay man would dress as gay as some of the men in these videos.)
[sz-youtube url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-zRAQmKUkI” /]
7. Make sure the video takes place in a super wealthy area of South Korea, in an 80’s-style urban street setting, in a post-apocalyptic future, or in a futuristic warehouse with blinding fluorescent lights.
8. Make sure to feature a lot of dramatic “slow walking”—in circles.
[sz-youtube url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFbyh0wzTS0″ /]
9. Make sure the artists in the videos display a near-noxious level of cockiness.
10. Have everyone in the video wear tons and tons of make-up.
11. Make sure that no one in the video is over 13 years old.
12. Have plenty of “I’m-a-badass-sitting-in-a-motherf******-chair” moments.
[sz-youtube url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAbokV76tkU” /]
13. Be totally adorable.
[sz-youtube url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNQrBwyb0Jg” /]
14. Always go with this rule: if you have more than thirty people wearing leather in your K-Pop Video, you don’t have enough people wearing leather in your K-Pop video.
15. Absolutely no one should be sporting their natural hair color. Each singer should feature artificial hair colors such as “sun-scorching-the-earth yellow,” “Ron-Weasley-red,”or “My-Little-Pony-blue.”
16. Feature ridiculously good choreography that puts the best American pop videos to shame.
[sz-youtube url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dww9UjJ4Dt8″ /]
17. Feature costumes inspired by Lady Gaga’s worst nightmares.
18. Never a feature a band that has less than thirteen members. And be fair to each member: make sure that each of them gets to sing at least one syllable in the entire song.
[sz-youtube url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6TwzSGYycM” /]
19. Have at least one “WTF?” moment. For example: have the entire band spontaneously sprouts black wings at the end of your video for no reason.
[sz-youtube url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=roughtzsCDI” /]
20. Most importantly: just be TOTALLY AWESOME.
[sz-youtube url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7_lSP8Vc3o” /]
This is pretty funny except the part about epileptic seizures. I’m epileptic and under 50. Next time go with “age-induced seizure”, or just anything other than a debilitating neurological disorder. Other than that, pretty well-written.