When it comes to dating, straight women only have to worry about whether or not the guy they’re interested in will like them in return. But for gay people, dating’s complicated. Not only must we wonder whether or not the guy we’re crushing on will like us in return, but we also have to consider which stage of the coming out process the guy’s in before we can move forward.Here are those four stages, and how openly gay men should deal with the guy in each stage: Stage One: The Closet Case He’s a “straight” guy who’s completely convinced he’s not gay. If you decide to pursue this fella, be warned: he’ll be offended that you find him attractive and insist that, as a “real man,” you should only find him as sexy as Larry King in a burka.
How to handle him: You can look, but don’t touch. Just give him a subtle tease with your eyes that says: “You know you want me. Too bad you can’t have me. Now, go have fun with your girlfriend’s … whatever-she-has-down-there. Muahahaha!”
Stage Two: The Chameleon
The closet door is wide open, but he’s not ready to step out yet. So, you’re never quite sure whether he’s feeling gay today or not. Is he up to listening to Janet Jackson’s latest album or just watching Ricky Gervais’ new stand-up comedy special? Freaking each other at the club or playing golf? Cosmopolitan or Corona with lime? Receiving a job on the kitchen table, or reading about Job from the Bible?
How to deal with him: Leave him alone. This guy’s volatile, and any relationship with him is bound to be filled with dra-ma.
Don’t ask. Don’t tell. Just shut up and kiss me before anyone sees.