Glee of the Future?


That’s right, Gleeks, the end of the current season of Glee means many of our favorite characters are graduating or facing midlife crises.


What can the future possibly hold for them?


So here we go, friends, a look into what the year 2032 has in store for the chanteuses (and dude-teuses) of Glee.


Rachel Berry


glee-future_rachelsadface
Career:  Broadway star, after catching a break in the surprise hit revival of Yentl.

Hobbies:  Making Finn Hudson’s auto shop theatre-ready; pitching a mediocre musical about an underdog car mechanic, starring Finn Hudson, to Broadway producers.
Most Notable Headline:  At the 2020 Tony Awards Ceremony, the year of Berry’s first nomination, she and Streisand were slated to perform a duet together.  However, the battle for centre-stage got the better of both and a cat fight ensued.  She subsequently received many offers to star in her own musical reality show.

Finn Hudson


glee-future_finnsadface
Career:  Mechanic.

Hobbies:  Carrying Rachel’s purse(s); banging out his feelings on drums.
Most Famous For:  Being Rachel’s husband, as well as the only male protagonist of Real Housewives of New York.  He’s the Wildly Insecure One.

Kurt Hummel


glee-future_kurthummelhost
Career:  Tim Gunn’s replacement on Project Runway, and just about every other show Gunn currently hosts, before taking a stab at politics.

Hobbies:  Blogging; fashion-designing.
Most Famous For:  Having Rachel’s back in the Streisand-Berry Beat-Down, and his memoir, Anger Is Sooo Last Season (which is adapted into a musical).

Brittany S. Pierce


glee-future_brittanyweird
Career:  Self-employed, owner of the critically acclaimed blog, UnicornWhisperer.com, for which she travels the world in search of unicorns and other mystical creatures.  And, unbeknownst to her, it’s more often considered a comedy blog.

Hobbies:  Learning new languages; dancing; running The Lord Tubbington Campaign (a non-profit organization dedicated toward ending Feline Smoking).
Most Famous For:  Her eight-hundred page study on the origin/evolution of unicorns, as well as her performance in the VMA-winning Ke$ha music video.

Santana Lopez


glee-future_santanapopstar
Career:  Pop star diva; often collaborates with Nicki Minaj (her not-so-secret lover).

Hobbies:  Following Brittany’s blog; kicking ass; taking names.
Most Famous For:  Giving Chris Brown his just desserts.

Sue Sylvester


glee-future_suesylvesterclone
Career:  Forced into retirement, ex-Coach Sue starts the Jean and Becky Foundation for Children With Disabilities.

Hobbies:  Trolling Brittany’s and Porcelain’s blogs; creating preferable alternative fads to sweater-vests.
Most Famous For:  Being the first human being to clone herself, as well as funding the creation of a formula that will delay the aging process [another] 50 years.

Noah Puckerman

glee-future_noahpuckerman
Career:  President of the Scared Straight Program, as well as the founder of the SSP’s a capella group.

Hobbies:  Chicks.
Most Famous For:  Scaring Lindsay Lohan straight.

Mike Chang


glee-future_mikechangdance
Career:  Famed and award-winning choreographer to the stars.  The only person to be on over 20 covers of Asian-American ‘zine, Hyphen.

Hobbies:  Randomly busting moves with Justin Timberlake; embarrassing his kids by being super involved and supportive of everything they want to do (i.e., tearfully kissing/hugging them in front of their friends).
Most Famous For:  Creating the new dance form, The Changy.

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About the author

Hi, friend! I'm Vickie Toro. I'm the lesbian in Lesbros, the creator and one of the writers of BAMF Girls Club, and the Frumpy Girl who commiserates with your Style Ineptness. I'm a Potterhead, water-dancer, and overall TV junky. Also sports movies make me cry.

View all articles by Vickie Toro

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