Ginger Revolution: The Redhead Justice League

Redheads have gotten the short end of the stick for what feels like forever. And by that I mean, since South Park inspired National Kick a Ginger Day after asserting the soullessness of those with ginger manes.

But are our favorite paper puppets to be trusted?

As a self-proclaimed and self-educated/Google addict and Ginger Expert, I’ve found a number of fine examples of upstanding, badass, [often freckled] apostles of the ginger order.

In fact, I decided to put them all together in one epic redheaded dream team, in honor of Pixar’s induction of bow-and-arrow-toting, tomboy princess, Merida!

The Sass: Joan Harris, née Holloway

Joan’s acid tongue has the power to make fools of even the maddest of men, shutting down incompetence and general doucheness in the blink of an eye. Moreover, even after facing obstacles none of us would ever dream of, she pushes forward with major integrity and finesse.

The Do-Gooder: Willow

Buffy’s BFF isn’t as much of a pushover as she might seem at the get-go. In fact, this Slayerette has mad power hidden within, which she can — for the most part — keep in check until a special occasion comes a’callin’. Unless you REALLY piss her off.

The Muscle: Princess Merida

Armed with a bow, some arrows, and a fighting spirit, this princess isn’t your typical Disney princess. In fact, she’d probably gross all the other princesses out with her eating habits and non-existent hair-management skills.

The Comic Relief/Outliner of the Moral of Every Adventure: Ralph Malph

Every squad needs one. And Happy Days‘s Ralph (aka Richie’s sidekick) is an expert at bringing both the laughs and the warm n’ fuzzies.

The Spy: Natalia Romanova

Otherwise known as Black Widow, the Avengers’ token power-lady is a force to be reckoned with. IF YOU DARE. Actually, you probably won’t even know you’re reckoning with her until her boot’s in your face, as she’s that level of sneaky. So. Good luck.

The Bloodluster: Yosemite Sam

He’s the guy who pulls a Leroy Jenkins every chance he gets. You know, the one who barges into battle in the middle of an important meeting about tactics to engage the enemy on his lonesome, guns blaring and ‘stache flying? Sometimes it’s awesome, other times Willow has to reel him back in with some magic and subdue him with potions.

The Brains: Ron Howard

“Oh, ho ho! Ron Howard isn’t fictional!” you say. But, with his unique and stand-out career, and his work as an advocate and trailblazer for Ginge Rights, this redhead transcends that trixy-minx of the “reality/fiction” line. He’s the Professor Xavier of the bunch, the visionary, plotting out the perfect tactics in bringing equality and justice for all: brunettes, redheads, and blondes alike. 


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About the author

Vickie Toro

Hi, friend! I'm Vickie Toro. I'm the lesbian in Lesbros, the creator and one of the writers of BAMF Girls Club, and the Frumpy Girl who commiserates with your Style Ineptness. I'm a Potterhead, water-dancer, and overall TV junky. Also sports movies make me cry.

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1 comment

  1. Talia Tits Mcgee

    Thank you. I feel so much better about my red headedness now. Theres hope for us!

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