What’s your favorite cupcake flavor?
I’m a glutard. I can’t handle the excitement of gluten. So no cupcakes for me. It’s tragic, I know. And don’t try to tell me that I can have gluten free cupcakes. Have you tried them? They taste like someone chewed up cardboard and then regurgitated it into my mouth. I’ll pass. Wine is my favorite cupcake.
What or whom inspired you to pursue a career in comedy?
My family. I grew up in a home full of neurotic Jews. Comedy just came natural, second to guilt. We always had Seinfeld on, and laughed our way through awkward family events. When there was a problem, we’d panic, obsess over it, and then laugh. Quickly I realized if I could make people laugh, my awkwardness would be accepted. And so became my lifelong journey to mask my weirdness as cleverness.
If Chuck Norris were to corner you in an alley and challenge you to a duel, what would be your weapon of choice?
I’m a lover. Not a fighter. I’d kindly smile at Mr. Norris and ask him why he needs to use violence. And then suggest he try yoga to relieve the fire within. Then I’d take his weapon, sell it on eBay as memorabilia at a high cost, head to the local bar, and yell “Drinks on Chuck Norris tonight!” Now that’s badass.
What are some challenges you’ve faced since going down the comedy track and what, in your experience, has made those obstacles worth overcoming?
Not being funny. That’s a helluva challenge. The solution? More cowbell. Seriously.
Actually, the biggest challenge I’ve faced while pursuing acting and comedy has been myself. If I get into my head while performing or auditioning, I’m screwed. I quickly become the person “in the audience” booing and throwing things at myself to get “offstage”, and I’m pretty brutal. But it makes me work harder. And drink harder. But mostly work harder to gain prospective on my place in this crazy world. And since I’m convinced I’m supposed to be here to make people laugh, I guess I am just going to have to endure the occasional obscene comments I throw at myself.
What’s the funniest thing you’ve ever heard/seen?
Ever? I can’t answer that! I see funny stuff every day and swear it’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. And then the next day I see someone trip and swear THAT’S the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. I tend to find the funny in everything. But I gotta say, there is a viral video out right now called “Shithead” (pronounced Shi-thead) and it makes me cry from laughing so hard. I can watch it over and over again. People are so weird. And I am so grateful they put that weirdness online. I can’t get enough.
What’s your favorite comedy movie or T.V. show of all time?
Dumb and Dumber. It is a beautiful blend of slapstick comedy, quick-witted writing, and glorious potty humor. A dream come true. And Jeff Daniels and Jim Carrey are brilliant in it. Both are insanely strong actors. They play the dumbness with such sincerity. It’s absurd and ridiculous and makes me want to rock a bowl cut.
Which comedienne, dead or alive, would you love to work with/meet?
I’m inspired by a lot of the male comedians I grew up watching. I think that’s why my material is not very ladylike. Now hold the phone, I’m not saying women aren’t funny, I just gravitate toward the men. Insert birth control joke here. I’d love to meet Jim Carrey and just make weird faces at each other all day. I’ve been trying to master his stretchy face moves. I have the talking out of my butt one down. And of course I would love to work with Will Ferrell. That guy doesn’t even have to say anything, and he has me laughing. And if ever I get to work with Mr. Steve Martin, I will most likely pee myself.
Were you ever actually a disgruntled birthday party entertainer?
I wish I could say no. But yes, I worked many years as a birthday party entertainer. Which is a classier way of saying I was a clown. I have been to more scary towns in LA than I knew existed, painted more snotty nosed kid faces then I care to remember, and twisted more balloons into highly requested phallic shapes then my college education prepared me for. It’s a tough job, but I had to do it.
What do you like most about having such a strong YouTube presence?
Not having to be a birthday party entertainer. Seriously. Youtube has quickly become the greatest job I never knew was even possible. I get to sit around my apartment with no pants on, crack a few jokes, and call it work. I am the luckiest lady in the whole world!
YouTube is home to some of the most notorious trolls. How do you deal with YouTube haters?
I used to collect trolls. I wish the online ones had little gems in their bellies and wore wacky outfits. But alas, they are most likely kids who get picked on at school, so they leave mean comments to feel better. It’s sad and I try to spread as much love as I can. But you can’t stop it from happening. And besides, haters pay my bills. So I welcome them to keep watching.
You took your relationship with fellow YouTuber Shane Dawson public online? Could you talk a little bit about that experience?
We often stop, and laugh, and say to each other “This is our life”. It’s really surreal. We have sort of created our own reality TV show without meaning to. But we couldn’t hide it. Shane vlogs Monday-Friday, and I’m with him most the time. We could only act like “friends” for so long. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. Our fans are so supportive of us. I feel honored that they even care. They love seeing us together. So we are happy share that part of our life with them. One day, we’ll be able to look back at all of this and laugh. And then try to explain to our kids why mommy and daddy were dry humping, dressed like two old Jewish women in that one video.
When you’re not writing/performing comedy, you’re…
Writing sonnets on par with Shakespeare’s finest. Or herding sheep in my ridiculously large backyard. But most likely watching Breaking Bad.
The title of your autobiography?
From Clown to Clown.
And now an excerpt from that biography:
Lisa Schwartz is an actress and comedian born and raised in Los Angeles. Don’t judge her. She’s one of the good ones. At least her Mom thinks so. Lisa graduated from UC Irvine and quickly dismissed her bachelor’s degree to become a “Youtuber”. With over 158,000 subscribers and nearly 10 million video views, Lisa has paved the way for comedy one fart joke at a time. And if you didn’t blink, you may have also seen Lisa on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Tosh.O, and Atom Tv. Please note, Lisa does not enjoy writing in third person.