Geek Sex Role-Playing

Turn up the John Williams and set your wand-mode to Lumos, it’s time for some geek sex role-playing!

Contrary to popular belief, we geeks have needs, too.  We aren’t always so vocal about it, choosing to keep our freakiness a secret ’til just the right moment, when even the most epic of multiple nerdgasms can’t satiate, but one thing’s for sure: geeks know what they like, and when we like something, or when something stirs the Balrog within, there’s no telling just how quickly we’ll zip straight to the parsack.

Star Wars

You:  Millennium Falcon

Your Partner:  Chewbacca


Scenario:  An Imperial ship is chasing you down the Kessel Run.  But, oh no!  The light-speed’s bugging out again, and the ship’s technician has to get all up in there to take care of business.  Even (and especially) if it means chewbaccing through some wires (aka candy underwear).

Battlestar Galactica

You:  Kara “Starbuck” Thrace

Your Partner:  Dr. Gaius Baltar


Scenario:  For those who like it rough.  Now, Baltar has sex with just about everyone who has a line, and what Starbuck wants, Starbuck gets, so the bottom line is: have at it.

Star Trek

You:  Mr. Spock

Your Partner:  Captain Kirk


Scenario:  Set your phasers to sexy — it’s gonna get all energized up in hurr.  You’re a highly logical being, not usually susceptible to animalistic human urges, but Kirk’s complementary charm and laidbackness are irresistible.  Opposites attract, and, after a brief, heated argument about the next step in a dangerous rescue mission, you finally give in to your human side.  And, let’s face it, them ears look primed for a little foreplay.

Harry Potter

You:  Nagini

Your Partner:  Voldemort


Scenario:  Voldemort wants to make you his horcrux.  AKA Get inside you.

Lord of the Rings

You:  Eowyn

Your Partner:  Arwen


Scenario:  Screw Aragorn and his indecisiveness: who needs men?  Especially a guy with so much baggage?  It starts out with the two of you giving each other the steely eye, but you’re curious: what does Aragorn see in her, anyway?  What can she do?  You have to find out for yourself.


You:  Gandalf

Your Partner:  Saruman


Scenario:  Two words: Angry Sex.  Third word: Staffs.

The Hunger Games

You:  Haymitch

Your Partner:  Effie


Scenario: Both of you have paid your dues, and both of you are vessels of secret Awesome.  Your experience in the Games left you with a major case of PTSD, however, and Effie’s unfailing peppiness is the only sunny spot on the horizon.  But even Effie has her downs.  In a moment of insurmountable stress, brought about by Peeta’s weakening condition, you find each other.  I mean, what were Haymitch and Effie really doing while the District 12 kids were in the arena?

Mass Effect

You:  Commander Shepard

Your Partner:  Liara


Scenario:  Make it a fun “choose your own adventure” type deal.  Your partner asks you a question and gives you a couple of possible answers.  Answer correctly, and you advance in your mission.  Into Liara’s pants.


You:  Dragon

Your Partner:  Their choice


Scenario:  Level-up your rod and get your dragonborn partner thu’uming long into the night.


Love this geek sex role-playing? Maybe it’s time to ponder sexy apocalypses next!


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About the author

Vickie Toro

Hi, friend! I'm Vickie Toro. I'm the lesbian in Lesbros, the creator and one of the writers of BAMF Girls Club, and the Frumpy Girl who commiserates with your Style Ineptness. I'm a Potterhead, water-dancer, and overall TV junky. Also sports movies make me cry.

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