Five Awesome Theme Parties to Throw This Week

Comediva is turning one this week, so join the party!  No Comediva party is complete without cupcakes, so make up a batch of your favesies while revisiting some of your favorite articles and videos.  Karaoke to “Girl Date,” invite some Klingons over so that you can get started on your Comic-Con bingo card, and seduce your geek crush with pick-up lines from Star Wars, Harry Potter, or The Hunger Games.  We’re considering getting a keg, what do you think?

Community Watch Party

Community makes its triumphant return on March 15! Be “streets ahead” with this watch party!  There have been a number of great parties in Community, including a zombie Halloween party, boozy nights at the bar, and (spoiler alert!) a “Dinner With Andre” dinner with Abed.  But because this show needs all the viewers it can get, we urge you to go with a simple pizza party at your Nielson friend’s house.  But remember: if your asshole friend tries to get out of getting the pizza with a dirty dice trick, don’t let him get away with it.  You might just end up in the darkest timeline.

Girl Scout Campout

With Girl Scouts celebrating its 100th anniversary this week, there’s no time like the present to gather your best gal pals together for a little celebration.  Build a campfire with the unofficial Girl Scout firestarter (a tampon, duh) and eat as many s’mores as you can.  Lesbian experimentation optional, but recommended. Raise a toast to Juliette Gordon Low with a Dirty Girl Scout (equal parts vodka, Kahlua, Bailey’s, and creme de menthe), and then get a badge in Debate when a fistfight breaks out over whether you call them “Samoas” or “Caramel deLites” (clearly it’s Caramel deLites, you heathens).

Ides of March

Start your bacchanalia honoring Mars with an early showing of John Carter — an early showing, so you can sneak in a couple handles of wine.  When you get home, invite a bunch of toga-wearing frat boys over and drink more!  At the end of the night, joke around with that friend of yours who started out cool but has been kind of a douche lately.  And then literally stab him in the back.  Huzzah, more wine!

Mitt Romney Birthday Party

Mitt Romney’s advisers are desperately, desperately trying to make Mitt’s birthday A Thing.  Sadly, the #HBDMitt tag never took off on Twitter, so you’ll have to spend the evening alone, unused, and mocked. But, there’s good news!  Thanks to the wonder of Pinterest, you can now make Mitt’s traditional birthday meatloaf cake at home!  There are so many jokes to make about this, so instead of choosing, here’s a bonus:

The Seven Funniest Things About Ann Romney’s Mitt’s Birthday Meatloaf Cake Pin on Pinterest
7. Where a picture of meatloaf would usually go, there is a picture of Ann.
6. The way Mitt’s campaign is trying to make us feel sorry for him by stressing how he’s too busy to eat it this year.  What’s that you’re hearing?  Oh, it’s the sound of the world’s smallest violin, playing “My Heart Bleeds For You.”
5. Clicking through to Ann’s Pinterest board devoted entirely to patriotic foods, including Patriotic Punch (sadly unalcoholic) and weirdly appetizing-looking Red, White, and Blue Chex mix.
4. The woman in the comments who says, “Happy Birthday Mr. President.”  Well, happy birthday, Obama! Didn’t realize it was your birthday, too!  Silly me.
3. Grossing yourself out by accidentally reading the aforementioned “Happy Birthday Mr. President” line in the style of Marilyn Monroe trying to seduce Mitt Romney.  Ew!
2. The unilateral references to the dish as “Birthday Meatloaf Cake,” therefore implying that this is what Mitt eats instead of real cake.
1. “Mittloaf”

Got a favorite cupcake recipe you want to you urge us to make for our party?  Are you prepared to engage in fisticuffs over the name “Tagalongs?”  Do you, too, eat meatloaf in situations when normal people would eat cake?  Let us know in the comments!