Betty White Takes the Superbowl!

After watching last night’s mostly disappointing crop of Superbowl commercials, almost all of which seemed to be for cars, one truth became glaringly evident: Betty White makes everything better.

One of the advertising highlights of the night was the promo for NBC’s The Voice, which placed the singing competition’s judges in brutal, Tarantino-esque, vocal combat!

Betty White’s surprise reveal at the end made an already engaging and successful ad all the more memorable.  So, at an average of $3.5 million per commercial, why doesn’t every advertiser put a little Betty into the mix and get some more bang for their buck?

Chevrolet:  Happy Grad

One of the best commercials of the night was the winner of Chevy’s Route 66 Super Bowl Commercial Contest, created by filmmaker Zach Borst.  What could make this tale of expectation vs. reality even more impactful?  Betty White, of course!

After our dopey college grad protagonist watches his dream car zoom off into the sunset, who should drive by in an even sweeter Camaro but our favorite scintillating nonagenarian!  Seducing him with a wink, he hops in and head off into the sunset.  Once you go Betty, you’ll always stay wettie!

Acura:  Transactions

Acura hit a homerun with their Jerry Seinfeld-centric ode to the seemingly irresistible 2012 NSX.  A dollop of Betty White would have made it a grand slam, though!  After the startlingly massive-headed Jay Leno appears in his flying-squirrel-rocket-man getup, a rocket-propelled grenade blows him out of the sky!  The keys to the alluring Acura NSX drop from his charred remains, right into the waiting palm of one Miss Betty White, who primly puts away her shoulder-launched anti-tank weapon and drives off.

Betty don’t play.

Pepsi:  King’s Court

Panned by some, this ad gives us the opportunity to watch Elton John ham it up as a cruel king who has ultimate power over his people’s life, death … and Pepsi consumption.  When X-Factor winner Melanie Amaro blows him away with her voice and tosses him down into his own dungeon, he comes face to face with the ultimate court jester, the one and only Flavor Flav, who delivers the best line in the commercial, “Urk!”

Where does Betty fit in?  Who better to read off the cola giant’s bizarre new slogan, “Where there’s Pepsi, there’s music.”  Though usually it takes tequila before you start hearing music in your head.

Toyota:  Reinvented

While Toyota doesn’t really go into how they’ve reinvented the Camry, the best selling car in North America, they did manage to get the following lines broadcast to over 100 million people:  “This is the reinvented baby.  It doesn’t poop. It is also a time machine.”  ‘Nuff said.

Betty White isn’t needed in this commercial, the non-pooping, time-traveling newborn is awesome enough on its own.

Audi:  Vampire Party

Everyone loves vampires (real vampires, not sparkle-in-the-sunlight pretend vamps), and everyone loves watching a bloodsucker get dusted.  Audi had plenty of both in their ad touting the LED headlights on the 2012 S7.  Keep an eye out for Emily Morris, The Divas‘ Katharine Rugburn, as she bids adieu to her undead life at the 0:30 mark.

After our hapless vamp driver gets out of the car, a wooden stake flies through the air and lodges in his cold, black heart.  As his ashes blow away in the breeze, Betty the Vampire Slayer drops from a tree.  Most of the slaying already done for her, she drives off in her new Audi Vampire Hunter Mobile.

Bridgestone:  Performance Basketball

Bridgestone came out swinging with one of the most successful commercials of the night.  Why?  Because they actually made an ad that makes you want to buy their tires.  When you can barely figure out what most of the other ads are even selling, it’s refreshing, nay — revolutionary! — to put together a spot that’s not only entertaining and engaging, but also leaves you impressed with the quality of their product.  Congrats, Bridgestone!  Your super-quiet tires are badass!  The very fact that anyone is impressed with a tire commercial is already a major win!  4 out of 5 stars!  You know what would have put them over the top?



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About the author

Luis Navarro

Luis Navarro is a token man slave and writer for Comediva.  He is a proud Valley Boy ("Fer sure") and martial artist.  He earned a Master's Degree in Counseling and is an ordained online minister!  He also boasts an encyclopedic knowledge of the Star Wars Expanded Universe and post-1970s movie trivia.  He is secure enough in his masculinity to admit a fondness for unicorns.

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