Troll
Harry, Anne , Harry Jr. and Wendy Anne Potter move into a new apartment building. An evil troll dwells behind the washer, kidnaps the little girl, and disguises himself as her in order to take over the world. The effects in this film were Muppet-tastic. Most of the cast, including Ringo Starr and Julia Louis-Dreyfus, are turned into turd-like troll pupae. June Lockhart, of Lassie fame, plays a badass geriatric with a singing-mushroom-head boyfriend (subtle) who battles the evil troll.
IT
This was not a film for a 9-year-old to watch. Carnivorous clowns, suicide, giant spiders and Richard Thomas’ mole left me having nightmares for years. After a boy chases his lost boat into the sewer and subsequently loses his arm to Pennywise the Clown, sewer grates are avoided at all costs. Funny story: My mom and I tied balloons to the end of my younger sister’s bed the night we watched this movie. She’s scarred for life.
Killer Clowns from Outer Space
Again. Clowns are scary. Period. These terrifying creatures used cotton candy to wrap people in sugary cocoons so they could drink their bodily fluids with gigantic straws. Popcorn that turns into killer klown snakes? Terrifying. I honestly haven’t looked at a balloon animal the same way since.
Ghoulies
In one of the many incarnations of this title, a guy sits on a toilet only to have his ass attacked by a mini-killer with razor sharp teeth lurking in the bowl. I couldn’t go to the bathroom for a week withoutstaring into the toilet as I went number 1. Number 2 was out of the question.
Critters
A family has to defend their hometown from a hostile alien species that resemble porcupines with razor sharp teeth and piercing red eyes. Two intergalactic bounty hunters (one played by Terrance Mann) appear to save the day. Full of horrific deaths and barnyard battles, this movie gave me nightmares and a crush on ginger Scott Grimes of My Two Dads fame.
If, like me, you long for the days when horror movies had camp and not torture scenes, rent all of the above films for an evening of entertainment. Grab your girlfriends, a bottle of wine, and some crackers. These movies will certainly provide the cheese.
****
The scariest one to watch as a kid was 1985’s “Dolls” especially when there was an actual doll in the movie I owned! And a definite 80’s classic was “Sleepaway Camp”. Both were extremely scary and cheesy all at the same time!
These movies must have totally scarred me growing up because I am so anti-horror now. But, Nightmare on Elm Street definitely goes on this list. Me and Freddy Krueger have some beef. That bastard kept me awake at night for most of my childhood!
Candyman? Fright Night? Those were some cornball flicks that were terrifying when I was kid. (Though Disney’s Watcher in the Woods and The Woman in White also scared me.)
That Killer Klowns movie seriously scared the crap out of me. Why in the world did I watch it? One will never know. But clowns were never the same.