Battlestar Galactica Dating Quiz: Which Cylon Should You Frak?

Some say that once you go Cylon, you never go back.  But which Cylon is right for you?  Choose carefully, they’re kinda known to be clingers, who keep coming back even AFTER you kill them!  So before you make the important decision of which Cylon to frak, take this handy quiz!

1.  You find out you and your lover are having a half-human, half-Cylon baby.  What do you do?

A.  Gross!  Once it’s born, I can dissect it for scientific research about the survival of my race.

B.  Praise God!  This is surely the shape of things to come.

C.  Get in my babydaddy’s head to make sure he’s fulfilling his destiny.

D.  Protect it with my life, even if I have to kill anyone who tries to take it from me.

E.  Does not compute.

2.  So you’re responsible for the genocide of humanity!  Shit.  How do you react?

A.  Excellent.  Humanity deserves to pay for all the mistakes they’ve made.

B.  No biggie.  This has all happened before, and it’ll all happen again.

C.  Paralyzing guilt.  To atone for my sins, I’ll convince my peers to try to be pals with the surviving humans.

D.  Find a human to fall in love with, and repopulate the shit out of the galaxy!

E.  Does not compute.


3.  Do you think Humans and Cylons can realistically co-exist?

A.  No.  All humans should die.

B.  Yes!  I once had a human locked in my apartment for months!

C.  Yes!  Love is the answer.

D.  Maybe.

E.  Does not compute.

4.  What’s the most important quality in a partner?

A.  Subservience.

B.  Faith.

C.  Chemistry.

D.  Trust.

E.  Does not compute.

5.  You’re marooned on a barren planetoid, how do you spend the rest of eternity?

A.  Plot galactic domination without the burden of incessant, annoying chatter!

B.  Pray.  The One True God will deliver me from my predicament.

C.  Daydreaming.

D.  Build a shelter and look for the nearest suitable mate.

E.  Does not compute.

6.  Which describes your dream wedding?

A.  Weddings are a pathetic human custom.  Not interested.

B.  A traditional wedding in a religious temple.

C.  A lakeside wedding on Caprica.

D.  A quick-and-dirty civil ceremony on a Battlestar — then on to the f**king, it’s time to make some babies!

E.  Does not compute.

7.  Which value is most important to you in life?

A.  Power.

B.  Spirituality.

C.  Love.

D.  Family.

E.  Does not compute.

Scroll down for your results!


If you scored Mostly A’s, you should date:  Number One

You are spiteful, cruel and sarcastic.  The only Cylon who will find you bearable is Cavil!  You can commiserate about how unfair life is, and dissect cute, furry creatures while you cackle evilly.

If you scored Mostly B’s, you should date:  Number Two

Your faith is what’s most important to you, so you need to find someone to get down on your knees and … pray with.  You should date Leoben!

If you scored Mostly C’s, you should date:  Number Six

You are a romantic at heart with a battlestar-load of sensuality.  You should date a Six!

If you scored Mostly D’s, you should date:  Number Eight

Some may call you “weak,” but your child-bearing hips and devotion to your family are second to none!  You should date a Sharon!

If you scored Mostly E’s, you should date:  A Centurion

You are a machine, and we’re not talking sex machine.  Just cold, hard, metal.  You should date a Centurion!



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About the author

Hi! I’m Erika Cervantes. I’m a comedy writer, a Chihuahua mama, a cupcake enthusiast, and most importantly… I keep the team well-sugared with motivational speeches and home-made cookies. Hello! I’m Luis Navarro, and I’m Comediva’s Director of Operations. Also known as, the token manslave. But when they let me out of my manbox, I often write and act in Comediva creations, and I’m the straight guy in Lesbros. I’m also a martial artist, a therapist, I have an encyclopedic knowledge of the Star Wars expanded universe, and I’m man enough to admit a fondness for unicorns.

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