“I liked it,” said Mitt Romney during last night’s debate, “so I put three rings on it.”
But can women in politics really be confined to the all too easily bent cardboard covers of a glorified folder?
That thing could be one of those 5-Stars I was so jealous of all the other kids for having, with all the extra pencil pockets and doo-dads and zippers and inherent coolness, and I still wouldn’t trade it for my favorite chocolate pudding.
So to you, Mittens, I present just a taste of my collection of BAMF women — whom I keep in something called High Esteem, and who don’t belong in that rolodex you keep for whenever you need a glass ceiling Windexed.
Long before Hillary Clinton’s bid for the presidential nomination was a lady who was all for the free love — in the 1800s. She made it tsunami of her own volition twice — once as a traveling magnetic healer, and again as the first female operator of a Wall Street brokerage firm — and eventually made her way onto the 1872 ballot as the US’s first female presidential candidate. Days before the election, however, she was arrested on counts of obscenity and didn’t earn a single electoral vote. On the other hand, she was probably totally the Big Mama of the big house.
Without this early 20th century feminist, we women-folk wouldn’t be involved in politics, period. Her efforts as the chairwoman of the National American Woman Suffrage Association in DC, the original author of the Equal Rights Amendment, and a Hillary Swank-lookalike make her a pretty BAMF example of fighting your way out of a binder.
Had AfterEllen.com existed way back when, Eleanor Roosevelt would’ve made the top of the site’s coveted Top 100 List. Because AfterEllen.com’s list uses Badassery as one of its core criteria. A fighter for civil rights, women’s rights, and the New Deal — not to mention a total romantic, according to those scandalous letters to her special lady friend — she’s still the face of the Awesome Women Movement everywhere.
Even as she served under one of the least-approved presidents of all time, Condy managed to garner a reputation for doing what needed to be done, making the hard decisions, all the while harboring a vagina under her pant-suit bottom. And she made Jack Donaghy swoon.
Sister-friend started out as a lawyer for civil cases — often taking on pro bono work for women in dangerous circumstances — and went on to become the first female vice-presidential candidate. She partied with the Clintons and took on the role of human rights advocate with grace, strength, and general BAMFness.
Pelosi’s the first — yeah, lady firsts are still happening — woman to hold the position of House Minority Leader. Outspoken about women’s issues, Pelosi puts up with the antics of the radical Republican crazies on the daily, for which she deserves major kudos and comforting hugs. The most powerful female politician in American history, she probably has her own binder chock full of undoubtedly sass-tastic one-liners of “Things I Should’ve Said [to that One Douchebag Who Had the Floor Today].”
Oh, Hillary. The Hillz. Mama Clinton. You’ve been through the ringer, my friend, from the non-stop abuse from the ever-so important fashion police of 2008 to the What-the-Fuckery of the men arbitrarily talking about your monthly. But you kept your chin up and got shit done. You became one of the most popular memes of the year, making LOLcats and political men-folk worry about their careers’ futures. You made a comeback a la Robert Downy, Jr., and you’re not stopping til the whole world feels the power of your own iron fist.