He gained a top-rated sitcom, was kicked out of a marriage and banned from using his own Twitter account. To improve his image, Kutcher has begun appearing naked on Two and a Half Men.
Best Hissy Fit – Chris Brown
Convicted woman-beater Chris Brown pulled an Incredible Hulk in his Good Morning America dressing room, continuing his streak of only physically assaulting individuals and items that don’t pose him any actual threat. Way to play it safe, Chris!
Best Misuse of Parental Consent – Doug Hutchison
Well, before the 51-year-old actor married 16-year-old “singer” Courtney Stodden, no one was really talking about either of them. So … infamy win!
Best Greed – Hilary Swank
Hey, Hilary, how much to speak at Kim Jong-Il’s funeral? Why should Chechnyan President, and accused war criminal, Ramzan Kadyrov get all the fun? I’m sure Hugo Chavez can pony up another $1.5 million for you to show up at his New Year’s Eve party…
Best Undoing by Technology (The Gaddafi) – Mel Gibson
Mel! What happened, brother? You were in Lethal Weapon, for heaven’s sake! Now, you’re leaving hateful, obscene messages on your baby mama’s voicemail. Where’s Murtaugh to slap some sense into you?!
Best On-air Psychotherapy – Tyra Banks
Pot Ledom. What the eff?
The 2011 Nolte Award – Gerard Depardieu
Our favorite Frenchman made a big splash in his bid for relevance. It’s just too bad that drunkenly peeing on an airplane doesn’t carry the cache it used to.
Miss Congeniality 2011 – Lindsay Lohan
LiLo had a big year! Prison, Playboy, piss-poor dental hygiene…. Congrats on your 5th mugshot, Linds!
The Baby Steps Award – Kim Kardashian
Kim finally followed through and got married for 72 days. That’s almost a whole three months! Keep at it, girl, practice makes perfect!
Best Advertisement for Condoms – Arnold Schwarzenegger
In his most recent media foray, the Governator faced off against his raging libido. Co-Starring: His middle-aged housekeeper! Rob Schneider! And Gloria Allred! Reviews were not positive. Hasta la vista, baby daddy!
Vatican Assassin of the Year – Charlie Sheen
Alcohol and drug binges. Sex with hookers and porn stars. Very public meltdowns. Fired from the #1 comedy on TV. Like a cockroach, Charlie seemed impervious to everything. But being easily replaced by Ashton Kutcher…? That’s more than any man can take. Just ask Bruce Willis.
