A PC Girl Falls in Love with a Mac

Until recently, I was a PC girl.  For years, people said, “I assumed you were a Mac person,” which I took to mean, “You appear super hip and in the know.”  When my laptop was plagued with viruses, or I bemoaned my inability to edit videos, everyone preached the Mac gospel.  Ergo, when my last laptop was stolen, I braved the stark coin-droppage and converted to the Macbook religion. Learning to love my Mac has been an arduous task akin to an arranged marriage. We’re trying to work it out, but our relationship has its ups and downs.

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Here is some of our pillow talk:

Me: You’re really handsome.

Mac:  I know.

Me:  Gosh, your screen is so big.

Mac:  17 inches, baby.  Wait til you see me run Final Cut.

Me:  (giggles) What’s that thunderbolt port for?

Mac:  Blowing your MIND.

Me:  (swoons)

We have our marital woes, too.  Communication is a definite issue:

Me: I want to save this in a new folder.  How do I do that?

Mac:  Figure it out.

Me:  Ummm, I can go through Finder I guess?

Mac:  (scoffs) You use finder for everything.  Amateur.

Me:  Don’t be a dick!

And, of course, there are some things that used to work like a charm on my old laptop that I really, really miss:

Me: Goddamn it, how do I put an umlaut on this u!

Mac:  Go find the insert, find symbol, find the u, click and drag it, then paste it.

Me: But it’s pasting as an image.

Mac:  Hit “keep text only.”

Me:  This is taking too long.  I’m trying the shortcut. [Hits shortcut.]  It wrote Úu.  What the fuck is that?

Mac:  How should I know?

Me:  Because you put it there!

Mac:  It’s a friggin U with a thing on it!

Me: Who the fuck gives a shit about Ú!!  I need a goddamn umlaut!

Mac:  It’s not my fault you’re writing in German.  Why can’t you write in ENGLISH, you stupid cunt!

Me: YOU’RE the cunt, cuntface!!!

Mac also has asshole friends who speak over my head:

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Me: Okay! I just finished editing my reel.

Mac:  Nice.  Hey, Final Cut, how’d she do?

Final Cut:  Well, she did some roundabout stuff, and I don’t even know what she was trying to import a while back but, uh, yeah, she did all right.  Figured out how to put in a title… after TWENTY MINUTES!!!

(Mac and Final Cut start laughing.)

Me: Shut up you guys, I’m trying the best I can!

Mac:  I know.  Just — could you like, maybe… clean up after yourself?  You left shit ALL over my desktop.

Me:  I know, I will.  I just… still can’t create new folders.  (Sighs.)  Ok, time to export.

Final Cut:  Here’s fifty options.  Go fuck yourself.

Me: Balls!

Mac:  Wanna try iMovie?

Me:  DON’T PATRONIZE ME!

I think we might try couples counseling at the Mac store, or try a threesome with an IT guy.  Anything to make it work.  I just love him so much.

Do you love your Mac?  Are you a PC girl?  Tell us about your story in the comments below!


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2 comments

  1. magnoliascotch

    Hahaha I totally relate, went through this 4 years ago. The worst was iPhoto, the two of us just did not click. “Wait I have to export my photo in order to email it? Why isn’t it just stored in a folder? GAHHH!”

  2. Lynn

    I’ve been a happy PC girl since I can’t remember when. Since I illustrate and do some graphic design as well, I’ve had people look at me in shock when they find out I’ve never used a Mac at all.

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