Here is some of our pillow talk:
Me: You’re really handsome.
Mac: I know.
Me: Gosh, your screen is so big.
Mac: 17 inches, baby. Wait til you see me run Final Cut.
Me: (giggles) What’s that thunderbolt port for?
Mac: Blowing your MIND.
We have our marital woes, too. Communication is a definite issue:
Me: I want to save this in a new folder. How do I do that?
Mac: Figure it out.
Me: Ummm, I can go through Finder I guess?
Mac: (scoffs) You use finder for everything. Amateur.
Me: Don’t be a dick!
And, of course, there are some things that used to work like a charm on my old laptop that I really, really miss:
Me: Goddamn it, how do I put an umlaut on this u!
Mac: Go find the insert, find symbol, find the u, click and drag it, then paste it.
Me: But it’s pasting as an image.
Mac: Hit “keep text only.”
Me: This is taking too long. I’m trying the shortcut. [Hits shortcut.] It wrote Úu. What the fuck is that?
Mac: How should I know?
Me: Because you put it there!
Mac: It’s a friggin U with a thing on it!
Me: Who the fuck gives a shit about Ú!! I need a goddamn umlaut!
Mac: It’s not my fault you’re writing in German. Why can’t you write in ENGLISH, you stupid cunt!
Me: YOU’RE the cunt, cuntface!!!
Mac also has asshole friends who speak over my head:
Me: Okay! I just finished editing my reel.
Mac: Nice. Hey, Final Cut, how’d she do?
Final Cut: Well, she did some roundabout stuff, and I don’t even know what she was trying to import a while back but, uh, yeah, she did all right. Figured out how to put in a title… after TWENTY MINUTES!!!
(Mac and Final Cut start laughing.)
Me: Shut up you guys, I’m trying the best I can!
Mac: I know. Just — could you like, maybe… clean up after yourself? You left shit ALL over my desktop.
Me: I know, I will. I just… still can’t create new folders. (Sighs.) Ok, time to export.
Final Cut: Here’s fifty options. Go fuck yourself.
Mac: Wanna try iMovie?
Me: DON’T PATRONIZE ME!
Do you love your Mac? Are you a PC girl? Tell us about your story in the comments below!