A Funnygirl’s Take on Walrus-ness

Funnygirl Sofiya makes a compelling argument in her recent tumblr post, which involves careful self-assessment and a review of her place in Nature’s grand design; She makes a great case that re: her identity; Sofiya knows she is not a walrus, and she offers several cogent theses as to why this is certain.
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Perhaps we should all occasionally ruminate on what species we aren’t in order to know who we might be deep down. Kinda puts things into a weird fish-flavored perspective…

9 Reasons I Am Not A Walrus

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I am not large-flippered.

I lack prominent tusks, whiskers, and bulkiness.

I do not play an important role in the cultures of many indigenous arctic peoples.

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I am unfamiliar with the North Pole in the Arctic Ocean and the subarctic seas of the Northern Hemisphere.

I do not lack external ears.

I am not considered one of the “keystone species” in the Arctic marine regions.

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I do not live in shallow waters above the continental shelves.

I do not spend most of my adult life looking for benthic bivalve mollusks to eat.

I have sex with a guy named Max.

♦♦♦

For more “Important Thinkings,” follow Sofiya on tumblr. Be sure to check out our Giggle Goddess interview with her, too!


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