A Funnygirl’s Take on Walrus-ness

Funnygirl Sofiya makes a compelling argument in her recent tumblr post, which involves careful self-assessment and a review of her place in Nature’s grand design; She makes a great case that re: her identity; Sofiya knows she is not a walrus, and she offers several cogent theses as to why this is certain.
Perhaps we should all occasionally ruminate on what species we aren’t in order to know who we might be deep down. Kinda puts things into a weird fish-flavored perspective…

9 Reasons I Am Not A Walrus


I am not large-flippered.

I lack prominent tusks, whiskers, and bulkiness.

I do not play an important role in the cultures of many indigenous arctic peoples.


I am unfamiliar with the North Pole in the Arctic Ocean and the subarctic seas of the Northern Hemisphere.

I do not lack external ears.

I am not considered one of the “keystone species” in the Arctic marine regions.

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I do not live in shallow waters above the continental shelves.

I do not spend most of my adult life looking for benthic bivalve mollusks to eat.

I have sex with a guy named Max.


For more “Important Thinkings,” follow Sofiya on tumblr. Be sure to check out our Giggle Goddess interview with her, too!


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