6 Online Acronyms You Should Ditch

Remember back when you were a teen laughing at your favorite gal pals as they texted you in a secret language no one over the age of 18 understood?  Evidently, some chicks never grow out of this phase. There’s a hidden nether-world of acronyms most of us adjusted, independent, emotionally stable people are not familiar with. I’m not talking about the occasional LOL or BFF (those are actual words in the dictionary). I’m talking ‘nyms that make modern heads spin. If it sounds like we’re still living in the age of “Leave it to Beaver”, or it’s tackier than white pants after Labor Day, best to steer clear.
housewife2
DH = Darling/Dear Husband. Are we in the 1950s? Why is hubby so dear and darling? No offense, 
but he doesn’t sound like Prince Charming when you’re complaining he’s got a beer belly and couldn’t get it up if you were making out with two Victoria’s Secret models.

TTC = Trying To Conceive. TMI is sooo 2010. Why discuss family planning with your life partner when you can gab with virtual strangers? Considering 49 percent of all pregnancies are unplanned, wouldn’t TTGKU (Trying To Get Knocked Up) be more accurate?

IMNSHO = In My Not So Humble Opinion. You just called yourself a proud blabber mouth in 6 letters. If you start a sentence with this, why the heck would I ever continue reading, much less heed, your advice?

PITA = Pain in the Ass. Wait, I’m confused, so this person is like Mediterranean flat-bread? As in yummy and delicious when dipped in hummus? This is why acronyms that spell existing words don’t work.

NWR = Not Wedding Related. This acronym is found … you guessed it: on wedding planning sites! Which makes my brain hurt. Why are you on a wedding planning website if you are not discussing wedding related topics? Don’t you have other places to chat about the Kardashians, like Facebook or the water-cooler at work? It’s like shopping for kale in a Dunkin’ Donuts: completely inappropriate.
 


oldschool2DTD = Doing the Dee
d. *Gasp* the Internet has been invaded by time-traveling Victorian prudes here to force us all to wear petticoats and stop using all our favorite swear words! In this post-gender millennium, I think we’re past the days of talking about intercourse as though it were a signature on a marriage agreement. Women are no longer breeding chattel. If sex is a chore, find a better lover. Or a dildo.


Are there ‘nyms you wish were never typed again? Let us know in the comments below!


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About the author

Katie Celia is a writer and indie filmmaker with a passion for crazy schemes and pastries. When not writing for Comediva she's most likely working with her husband on their feature-length documentary about contemporary pole dancing or conning said husband into coming with her on a quest for a chocolate croissant. Luckily, they live two blocks away from a bakery and are usually victorious in their search for brain food nom noms. www.katiecelia.com

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