5 Things Karma Wants in a Human Male

By Karma

Ciao earthlings. My name is Karma and I am…Karma. I’m here on Earth and I’m feelin’ randy. They have a strict “No Spiritual Laws” clause at match.com so I made this list in case you think you might know of a good match for me. The following are deal breakers.
He must believe in me. That’s kind of a no brainer. If you don’t believe in Karma and I AM Karma. Then you’re screwed. Or, not screwed, as the case may be.

2. He must be able to whistle through his nose. I think it’s funny.

3. He must know the difference between “there” and “their” and use it in a sentence. But only when called upon.

4. He must think I’m hilarious when I’m intentionally being hilarious and very deep when I’m intentionally being very deep and never the other way around.

5. He must make Stracciatella Gelato from scratch. I am passionate about Gelato.

Thanks and I look forward to sleeping with some of you very soon.

Love & Good Karma,



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About the author

Annie was born in Hollywood,California and raised in the valley. She avoided the valley girl accent by speaking backwards for the first 15 years of her life. She also suspects that she may have been switched at birth with Jennifer Aniston who is currently living her life. As an actress in her teens she played Jason Bateman’s sister in the play The Carpenters at The Complex in Hollywood. She went on to host and co-produce the nationally syndicated dating game show, BZZZ! and appear as a guest on The Tonight Show w/Jay Leno. She thinks Jay doesn’t like her, but she doesn’t know why. She also appeared in films (Good Luck Chuck, My Sister’s Keeper) TV, (Becker, ER, NYPD Blue, General Hospital, other stuff) and has been writing like a bunny (yeah, some write) since the earth began. Her romantic comedy, Complicated Heroes was performed at the Lyceum Stage in San Diego, California. Her book of comedic scenes, Snapshots! has been performed on several Hollywood stages and her book of short stories, Where Would I Be Without Me? has recently been recorded for the blind and dyslexic. (available at amazon.com!)

She is currently writing several original TV pilots and preparing to publish her novella, I Thought I Already Knew That, a spiritual adventure of sorts. She lives in Los Angeles with her charming, Italian husband and her equally charming, Jewish/Buddhist/Italian dog, Lucy.
She also works well with monkeys. Usually.

View all articles by Annie Wood

1 comment

  1. Talia Koren

    Dear Karma – that pretty much describes the kind of man ALL WOMEN are looking for. Anyway good luck with your search, and if you want this guy to appear in your life, be a good person because you know more than anyone- what goes around comes around.


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